Tag Archives: Poem



Why is it that the thought of you can still sting…

can instantly bring tears to my eyes…

can make me miss you like you were here just yesterday?

Why do you invade my dreams…

looking peaceful and glowing in the glory of the heavens…

That smirk on your face, I read your mind… “I am finally free baby girl.”

How can I be thrown into the past,

remember those eyes, those tears…

watching you crumble before me…a lost soul.

Why couldn’t I save you?

Why couldn’t my love protect you?

Why do I smell your cologne, hear your voice?

Why can’t I just forget and let go?

Why do I see you in “them”…

Why did I destroy the fruit of our love?

Why was “I” there that horrible night?

How do you still have this hold,

Was what your cousin said true…

that my heart was buried with you.

So many questions… so few answers…


©bipolarmuse 2012

**I wrote this well over a year ago, almost a year and a half… those who follow along with my blog will know the inspiration… I always feel that everything I write goes here in this blog, so even though I wrote this in the beginning of 2012, I feel compelled to put it up here.**

Suicide is so devastating to those left behind… yet, I understand the need to go, the horrible pain that brings one to this choice.

If you are suicidal, please ask for help.

The Dreaded Day


With a heavy heart… today is the day they depart.

I hurt.

My chest aches.

My eyes water.

I write this with tears flowing.

I know I will see them again…

Just not sure when.

I wish they could have stayed.

Another twist in life…

I will survive… even with

this pain.

I have many more tears.

My heart hurts.

I Will Wait For You





I Will Wait For You

Nothing on this earth prepared me for the love, that as a mother, I have for my children. Nothing compares to it… nothing can hold a candle to this love. They may not be with me physically, but they are always with me in in mind, heart, and soul.

I will wait. However long it takes to have them at my side without losing out on more of their lives… I will wait.

For sharing dreams and wishing on stars… I will wait.

For now, I love, watch, listen, stare, care, hurt, and cry… I learn… I give pieces of myself to make them whole.

My day will come… so I will wait.

Yesterdays Poem…

Yesterday I wrote a poem titled “Your Tears“. Now, when I wrote it, I had a concept in mind… and I was very tired from some serious lack of sleep. So as I was re-reading what I wrote, I realized I had many incoherent sentences and misspellings… etc. My lack of sleep (literally had about 2-3 hours), combined with my psych meds was evident. So this morning I took the few minutes it needed to fix it.

So, my apologies for the horrible writing I put forth yesterday. It is fixed. 🙂

Your Tears


Your tears hold me captive…

no amount of struggle to be set free.

Your tears make me break…

Is wholeness ever to be?


In the night, you roll onto your  side…

tears sharp as they flow down your face.

You grab my arm as I roll to my side to hold you…

Your sobs uncontrollable, in rhythm, in pace.


My arm wrapped around you…

ssshhhhh my Love , take refuge in sleep

I lie there the whole  night,

My arms around you, feeling your heart beat.


His sorrow painful, he says “I just want  you.”

I hold tight and whisper into your heart and soul…

“no one can ever replace my love, I love you forever”….

Like a sinking ship, I go down. Forever I have you to hold.

©bipolarmuse 2013

Stand Up


Fall down seven times, stand up eight. – Chinese proverb

It is very easy to become discouraged when mistakes are made. Sometimes we forget that we must learn from our wrong doings to prevent ourselves from making the same mistake twice.

Mistakes hurt… and often times, they hurt others as well…

What must be done when we stumble and fall down? WE GET BACK UP.

No matter how hard the fall, no matter the pain and sorrow, when you make a mistake, stumble and fall, do everything within your power to get back up again.

And one other important detail… never be afraid to ask for help.