Tag Archives: mindfulness

“Catch Yourself Complaining”….

GoWithFlow

“See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is.” – The Power of Now Inspiration Cards

WOW.

I hope that speaks volumes to you as it does to me.

Each “complaint” is resistance to what IS. Resistance causes friction. It is in that, that we fight and find ourselves going against the flow, making every part of life more difficult.

Practice this acceptance of what is each and every day… “watch” our mind, our thoughts, and take note of the complaining, work to stop it from the start… and I truly believe we will become that change that we desperately seek… We will stop resisting our true ‘self’. We will begin to accept what is.

We will find who it is we need… and come to see we were there all along.

Radical acceptance is the key. What do you do if you do not like your situation?? CHANGE IT. ~ If that cannot be done, we must accept it. ~ When we stop resisting, we see how much easier it is to “go with the flow of life”.

Learn to ride those waves, you will find that is a big difference from allowing them to pummel you into the ocean floor.

Ride.

Thrive.

© bipolarmuse 2015

A Transforming Musey

Last year was the worst for my blog and I am disappointed in myself for allowing it to fall to the wayside… it is my goal, my dream really, to create a blog that is like a community. A place for others to come because here, they know they are truly not alone in their struggles.

So this year I have come up with a schedule of sorts. Each day of the week will focus on something specific… that way, those who follow along, will be able to foresee which posts they are most interested in. Of course, I hope you read daily (wink wink), but totally understand that sometimes life will not allow free time for everything, and priorities may take over… maybe the cat litter box is over-flowing and ya got to break away from Musey land… lol… I totally get it.

So… my plan?

This may change as I begin implementing the structure, as this is kind of the rough draft, but you get what I am saying.

Mondays will be about Mindfulness, DBT therapy, living in the here and NOW.

Tuesday will be inspirational stories… not always mental health related, but positivity in all its awesome forms.

Wednesdays will be WOOT WOOT… Humpday Humor.

Thursdays will be either “Throwback”, or “Thankful”.

and…

Fridays will be “Freaky” LOL… ok, maybe not freaky, but “Free For All Friday”… I can choose any subject matter. Maybe I can get some followers to write me and give me little excerpts I can share here in Musey Land.

Thanks so much for your patience! I am up and running and so excited to be back… so much to share!

©bipolarmuse 2015

I Love You Forever

IloveUforever


I love you forever

That is the title of this post, and what it written so beautifully on a sheet of paper pictured above.

I recently visited my little ones in Texas, (they live with their Dad), and they both were making me pictures, or as you see above… writing me little notes.

My daughter is the artist and put together some adorable cards for me, she is 5 years old so you can imagine just how cute her little drawings were. I absolutely love each thing she made for me… they are fun, creative, and a wonderfully heartfelt.

My son wasn’t in the “artsy” mood but decided to write me a couple notes… and this was one of them. First he came over to me and handed me a sheet of paper that said “I am going to miss you”… so sweet and heartbreaking at the same time… sadly, both the children know my visits have to come to an end and it is something we talk about each day I am there. It truly hurts my heart. I work with them and use “mindfulness” techniques to help keep us in the present moment and not project into the future when I must depart… which hurts my heart so much, as it does theirs. Most times this technique works, and it did this time with the exception of a day or two.

Anyhow (sorry about that little tangent) my son walks over and hands me another sheet of paper… the one pictured above. It beautifully said, “I love you forever.”

It stopped me dead in my tracks and the tears just came on their own… it was impossible to prevent them, nor stop them. I grabbed my son and pulled him close to me, squeezing him tight, and in a hushed, tear-touched voice I told him that I would love him forever and  more. I then sang “I love you forever, I like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.” This is a song I use to sing to him as a baby and toddler, borrowed from a childrens book with the title “I love you forever.”

This touched my heart deeply. There is no love like the love for your children…

Emotional Intelligence… Practice It!

emotionalIntelligence

I love emotional intelligence! When we practice this, we remove all power that we allow others to have over us. I know it is difficult to learn and practice, trust me… this one is hard for me too… but once we are accountable for all of our emotions, we can have better control over them. Nobody “makes” us feel anything… our emotions belong to each and every one of us, they are not in the hands of others. Take back control and choose how you will feel…

Moving On Affirmation

move on

Ahhhh, the art of letting go and moving on… it is a difficult thing to do and often causes the heartache in our lives.

I remember, not long ago, I held desperately to my past. I held on to the mistakes as well as to the good times that I felt I had thrown away. While difficult to turn around, face forward, and press on… it must be done. I had started this process on my own, but it really kicked into full gear when love re-entered my life. So many things are healing for us… I had forgotten the healing power of love.

Find love and add it to your life. It does not have to be love of another person, but love. I think the greatest love of all is love of self. I work on this daily.

Positive Thinking

positivethinking

Positive thinking can bring so much into our lives. I know that life is not “that easy”, and this advice is “easier said than done”, but take time to reflect positively, to bask in the sunlight instead of hiding under the dark clouds. Try positivity and see the changes that come about. It is not an overnight transformation, but it IS a transformation.

Happiness ~ Buddha Quote

buddah quote

I never believed in “mind over matter”, but I have to say that I have learned alot in the last 2 years about being mindful, and feeding yourself positive affirmations. Your attitude comes to be by what you think. If you are always negative, that will be what you attract, but on the other hand, if you are positive and present yourself with a smile, happiness will be found in you. No, it is not an overnight thing. We don’t become negative quickly, but rather, over a period of time. The same is to be said about happiness. It takes time to ingrain that habit into yourself.

Be kind to yourselves, practice positivity, and don’t give up.

Free And Whole

angel

Holding on to grains of sand,

unable to contain them all…

Every word spoken,

razorblades slip and fall.

~

I no longer look back,

the ache no longer fierce …

No longer looking for whats not there,

He has kissed away my tears.

~

Where I once had pain,

I now feel free and whole…

He makes my world brilliant,

My heart he graciously stole.

© bipolarmuse 2012

 

Bipolar Disorder In Check!

 

life

Wow.

Two years ago…around this time… I was spiraling out of control and feeling the worst I had ever felt with my disorder. I was not capable of thinking straight, holding lasting relationships… I struggled during simple conversations, completing school work, going to work and doing a good job at work. I was making very poor choices, acting impulsively…constantly anxious and teetering from mania to depression and then back, often times all in one day. The doctor explained to me that I was a “rapid cycler” and would experience all the symptoms of mania, hypo-mania, and depression within the same day or within days of one another. I remember the constant agitation, the desperate deep sadness, the crazy fast driving mania. I remember hating my life, hating myself.

Fast forward two years.

I barely remember that person.

Did I get here over night?? Absolutely not. It took 1 year and 8 months to get to where I stand today. I went from hopeless, to breathing hope. I went from lifeless, to thriving. I went from craving death, to craving life. Don’t get me wrong… this certainly was not easy to do and it took a-lot of work on my part. But I want to stress that it can be done. I thought I was “finished”… that life had given me all that there was and there was no longer a reason to keep suffering the way I was. Did I truly want to die? No. But I wanted the pain and suffering to end.

After choosing to live and get help, I worked very hard to find stability and it took over a year to find me. Many things came together and helped me to move forward with my head up… and finally with no tears. Then it took more work from me to continue to grow and heal. I practice mindfulness, look at positive affirmations, reflect on how I feel today and the vast difference from two years ago, and I am faithful at taking my medication.

I don’t claim that getting this disorder under control is easy because it is not. But with continued effort and fighting, it can be accomplished. Know that you are not alone and that all hope is not lost. Find that tiny spark of light in the darkness, and follow it… allow it to guide you…

You can heal, you can grow, you can LIVE. Make it happen.

Happy Anniversary!

anniversary

Happy Anniversary to Bipolarmuse.com!!!

Today is my One year anniversary and it has been a wonderful journey that I have shared here on the press of the word. I remember that when I started this blog, I didn’t know what to expect but I do know that I did not expect much. I had my blog at a different blog host and didn’t have much luck with it there at all. Switching it over was the best thing I could have done for the blog, and watching it grow has been exciting to say the least. Bipolarmuse has over 700 followers and over 60,000 hits. The growth has been tremendous and I thank each and every one of you for helping make this blog a success for me. This blog is my “baby” and I get so much enjoyment from sharing my world with others. I enjoy sharing and helping… giving hope… showing that when all hope is lost, things can get better.

Oddly enough, I created a new blog this month as well. The new blog is much different and is not something I will advertise on Bipolarmuse… but I wanted to mention it because December must be my month to create a blog! LOL. One for December 2011, two for December 2012… will there be a pattern?! Hahaha, I doubt such but it is a funny thought.

I want to thank you all for being a part of Bipolarmuse’s life and allowing me to share this journey with you all. There certainly have been some ups and some downs… I can say, without a doubt, the ride has been a great one. ♥

My Adventure To Med Free- DBT Skills Workbook

Cover of "Dialectical Behavior Therapy Sk...
Cover via Amazon

Well, I have begun my adventure to becoming med free. No, it will not happen anytime soon but I am aiming to wean off these meds (slowly, steadily, and under a Doctors care) in August 2013. To get me off on the right foot, I have begun a workbook called “The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook“. I am working in this workbook along with another one titled “Overcoming Bipolar Disorder“.

Sadly, I have had the Bipolar workbook almost three years and did not come anywhere close to completing it but I am now beginning to make a dent. I alternate between the two workbooks to ingrain the skills that each teach to help regulate emotions, learn mindfulness, pinpoint triggers, create crisis plans, and learn distraction and redirection. I am enjoying how well these two workbooks are fitting together to create a strong foundation for me to work off of.

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook is great. It gives distraction ideas for when you are home and distressing thoughts and emotions run over you like a freight train and also gives you distraction ideas for when you are away from home as well. There are 10 chapters- 1. Basic Distress Tolerance Skills, 2. Advanced Distress Tolerance Skills: Improve the Moment, 3. Basic Mindfulness Skills, 4. Advanced Mindfulness Skills, 5. Exploring Mindfulness Further, 6. Basic Emotion Regulation Skills, 7. Advanced Emotion Regulation Skills, 8. Basic Interpersonal Skills, 9. Advanced Interpersonal Skills, and 10. Putting It All Together.

I am currently beginning chapter 2. I am moving slowly, truly absorbing and processing the skills and techniques taught. If anyone is interested in DBT, this workbook is fantastic… I wish I had it when I was taking the DBT weekly group a year ago. It is great on its own or as a supplement to therapy.

My adventure is beginning!! I am excited and anxious all at once. I know that I can do this but if my mind tries to prove me wrong… I will still win because medication does not mean I am defeated…it simply means I had to win another way. ♥

*** Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) has been a proven affective method of therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and is becoming a great therapy choice for those with Bipolar Disorder (BD) as well…especially since a-lot of times these disorders co-exist. For myself personally, BPD is a co-morbid disorder to my BD.***

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are proven to improve our lives. 80% of our thoughts are negative. Therefore, using these positive affirmations will help to rewire your brain so that the negativity begins to diminish. Is it a cure all? No. But it most certainly helps to bring positivity into your life.

My affirmation for today is:

“I choose love, joy and freedom, open my heart and allow wonderful things to flow into my life.”

How many of us truly feel love, joy, and freedom when we are stuck in our past wallowing in our misfortunes?

By putting your affirmations all around you, you can look at them as you please. I use to write on my bathroom mirror to offer me some positivity..and I also wrote them down on index cards and pulled them out to read them each day. It was a great opportunity to bring me into a better mindset.

Nothing happens over night my friends… those who are *normal” so-to-speak, and those with mood disorders  would benefit from positive affirmations.

Who wants their thoughts to be negative 80%? Certainly not me!

Letting Go

Twice the universe beheld…

Lessons to be learned.

Fought this prison, escaped the hell…

But not without getting burned.

Twice shattered…

Twice renewed…

My body and mind battered…

I handed this pain over to you.

You hold me so tight…

You calm this rage…

All in the world is going right…

Here I go… turn the page.

© bipolarmuse 2012

Mindfulness and DBT Exciting??

 

After much thought and talking things through with my wonderful man… we have devised a plan to safely help me to go off of my medication… not soon, but in about 9 months from now when we hit our 1 yr anniversary. (And yes, I have complete faith that he and I will have MANY anniversaries to come.)

Why wait that long?? Well, for one, to get more time with stability under my belt. You all have been on part of this journey with me and have watched the transformation with your own eyes… it is only smart to get some more time stable before making any changes. This is not only healthy but will help prevent this from being a spontaneous act that wasn’t thought through. Also, I will do it under physicians care that way I can be monitored and in the event things do not go as planned, I can always get back on my medication. One of the most important reasons for waiting though is so that my man and I have a stronger foundation as a couple before we rattle things up. He is very supportive though and actually came up with the idea to wait it out a little while before I attempt to go med free.

In my excitement over this, I have ordered 2 books to help me prepare these next 9 months. DBT and mindfulness have proven to be successful at treating emotional disorders. DBT is the most successful form of therapy for treating Borderline Personality Disorder (which I have) and has proven to work for Bipolar Disorder as well (which, of course, is my primary diagnosis).

DBT uses Four Skill Modules: Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness (PsychCentral).

The 2 books that I am so eagerly awaiting are:

Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness

Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness
by Jon Kabat-Zinn

Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)

Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)
by Matthew McKay

Both of these books will take much effort and determination for me to “work” through, (workbook style), but I plan on using them to the fullest for the rest of my life to aid in my goal of being medication free.

I am beyond excited to get these books and begin this new adventure in my life. I have full confidence that with proper support, training, and guidance, that I will be successful. I don’t want to be unrealistic though…so I am fully aware that if I must, then I will most certainly be on meds to be healthy mentally rather than to live with the alternative. I have a wonderful man who will be able to help me keep a mood journal and will help to recognize when things have become “off”.

So, as the next 9 months pass and I am completing these workbooks, I will share my journey with you. Then I will continue to share my new journey without medication and using DBT and mindfulness to live a healthy, emotionally intelligent life. I will share my success and my failures… but know that either is success.  ♥

Be Alive!! ~ Howard Thurman Quote

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman quotes

Beautifully said! How many of us get to truly do what they love…whether it be in the work place, hobbies, volunteer work…  or day to day activities.

We shouldn’t ask what the world needs of us but what we need to do to be ALIVE… because to truly feel alive brings along great potential for the change that we need to see in ourselves, the world around us, and not to mention the fact that others will be touched by your energy and be compelled to bask in its warmth. It will bring about change in itself. To be alive is to thrive.

I don’t simply want to exist, I want to feel the energy of this life force, I want to feel charged with life…to thrive. I have learned to do this… especially as of late. I feel more alive now than I ever have, and others can see the difference. They see the difference in my smile, my composure, my infectious happiness, the stars that shine in my eyes… they feel the change in me.

Work hard to be alive my friends. We have this life for a short while… isn’t it worth living and thriving??