I recently went on a trip to visit my little ones… it was beautiful and so natural to be with them. As their Mom, I feel like there is always a part of me missing, I am always missing out on something.
I get “I miss you’s, I love you’s, I will see you soon.”
I miss tucking them to bed at night, good morning kisses, hearing “that’s my Mom” when they are at a school play and find where I am standing to watch them. I miss knowing their favorite foods, missing teeth, meeting their teachers. I miss out on every aspect of their life except for the few minutes I get to talk to them… and the visits that keep me sane.
While I was there, I got some very sad news… they are moving to Germany for three years.
I cried instantly and have been very tearful ever since… trying to fight off the complete breakdown. I need to be strong… I will be.
While I know everything will work out, I am afraid that them moving so far is going to do something to my mental health. I can feel it. I love my children so much, and while I want them to experience another country, I feel as though they need to experience me more… I feel like I am in the dark without them… and I KNOW that they need me as well. That being said, I could not, nor would not stand in the way of their move. I love them and want all the best for them… I want them to see life and live it… I want them to enjoy living in another culture. I want them to truly live.
I guess what I do not want is for them to forget about me…
I wish they could stay.
“Please remember me.”