Ted Talk By Max Silverman on 1 Invisible Illness~ Mental Illness

Many illness’s are invisible… I have a few of them myself, but this one really hits home for me.

I watch people my age struggle with various diseases… some are even battling cancer. Their treatment causes their hair to fall out, many become thin and will look “ill”. Their fight to live is cheered on… friends and family do everything they can to help. They assist with making dinners, childcare, even helping monetarily with medical and living expenses… they are added to prayer lists… the support they receive is HUGE and no doubt helps them to face their illness and fight it with all their strength. It is beautiful to see communities pulling together to support those battling debilitating illness’s.

This short video opens with just that. This man’s Mother is battling cancer… the help they receive is amazing, and appreciated beyond words.

Max Silverman begins, telling of all the love and support they received… not only to his Mother, but extended to him and the rest of his family as well. Meals were delivered for four (yes, 4) months straight, when he got to school, he was welcomed with hugs and offers of help, questions “How is your Mom? Is she ok? Are YOU ok? Is there anything I can do to help?” Then they would offer their shoulder to cry on. He mentioned to his Mom how amazing it was, and how they should be proud that they had such a caring support system of friends and family…

She just smiled… and nodded her head… and she said…

Where was this when we really needed it? When your brother was sick?”

Max Silverman then proceeds to explain to us what his brother was ill with… which illness it was that his brother was battling for his life over…

… Mental Illness

Take 20 minutes and listen to what he has to say… understanding what he is talking about might make a different in your life… or the life of someone you love. ♥

Another Mothers Day Has Passed …

loveYouForever

Mothers Day is one of the most difficult days of the year for me. A sad day. A tearful day.

Sadly, my children have always lived with their Dad. Not because I didn’t want them with me, not because I have done something wrong… but because of the way that circumstances played out.

Every year, the kids will make gifts for “Mom” for ‘Mothers Day’, and each year, though they do those crafts at school, I never receive a single one.

Why?

During my many visits, I have seen some of the sweet things made to be given to me on mothers day, some of the gifts the kids had even told me about before hand, but they have never made it to me….

Why?

The simple answer … they were addressed to “Dad”.

If you are reading this and you do the same thing, and the “Mom” is still in the picture as much as possible… don’t treat her as though she is dead.

I may not live right next door, and I may not get to spend most of my time with my children, but I am here. I do all that I can with the way things are. I talk to my kids, during visits I teach them things, create crafts with them, play, color, sing to them, teach them learning songs, count to 20, count to 100, help with homework, teach them manners, morals, and how to be kind… and so on. I try to be here for them, I try to teach them new things, I try to show them how to be a good person. When I am with them, and a holiday for their Dad approaches, I make sure to have them make their Dad a card, or get something for them to give him… I remind them to call I make sure to deliver their gift. I treat him like he is their Dad… cause he is.

I would never replace the word “Father” for “Mother”… or cross out Dad’s name to replace with mine… Never.

The first time I noticed that something meant to come to me for Mothers Day did not, it hurt. My little ones told me of what they had made for me, but it never got sent out. Then, months later, I found out why. During one of my visits, I came across the crafts they told me they had made me for Mothers Day… and I started to cry uncontrollably when on the front, the word “mother” was crossed out and replaced with “father”.

I am still here!!!!

I am not dead.

I don’t need every single mothers day activity completed since preschool, but one, or maybe two would have been nice.

Just keep this in mind.

In the big picture, this isn’t a big deal… but when it comes to the most painful things about not having my children with me as primary custodian… this is a big deal.

I am not dead, don’t act as though I am.

Actually, the irony is… if I were dead, every single one of those cards and gifts would have become memorialized… perhaps taken to my grave… never to be “seen” by me… but cried over and a big deal to the little ones giving it.

Instead, I don’t get them, or see them… as if I were dead… but not JUST dead…

dead and hated.

©bipolarmuse June 2015

I Would Like a “Pause” Please.

Oh my.

Life has been so very hectic as of late and I have so many posts I want to make, so many topics I want to talk about, and yet I feel as though I have NO time whatsoever to spare to do so!

PAUSE PLEASE!!!!!

I must happily tell you that I have moved into my new house (new to me anyhow), and am now completely flustered trying to get everything in its rightful place. Everything else will either be thrown away, or it will be donated… I can see the beginnings of a “hoarder” and I must nip it in the bud NOW! LOL. I refuse to be the cra cat lady, living with her dead husband and pets, all 199 of em (pets, not husbands, wink wink, I think)…. walking through the garbage bin of a house… pissing off neighbors, and having my children refusing to come visit me. I will not become her.

PAUSE PLEASE

What can I tell you about the new home?? It is so cozy to me… my personal castle…I literally get little flutters in my tummy when I am driving home because I love the way I feel when I am here… I love it so much. It is home to me… it is soothing… it is where I feel completely content… this is a new phase in my life and I feel this subtle hum of energy that is insanely addicting. It feels so wonderful to feel like this. No doubt that part of the reason I feel so great is that my little ones will be here in a couple weeks!!!!!! I am excited beyond explanation! I feel on top of the world!!!!!

In a matter of days I will have all of my children here… sharing this new home that I absolutely LOVE… sharing my love with not only my children, but also with this amazing man who has kept me on my toes in love for nearly three years now… we are going to be making lasting memories here in my castle, enjoying this amazing backyard… creating memories, these moments, little bits of life to live in our minds and our hearts ~ FOREVER~

myBackyardYo©bipolarmuse 2015