Free And Whole


Holding on to grains of sand,

unable to contain them all…

Every word spoken,

razorblades slip and fall.


I no longer look back,

the ache no longer fierce …

No longer looking for whats not there,

He has kissed away my tears.


Where I once had pain,

I now feel free and whole…

He makes my world brilliant,

My heart he graciously stole.

© bipolarmuse 2012


14 thoughts on “Free And Whole”

  1. You are sounding good in your poetry. I am happy for you. This is a short visit. I feel like Santa. I want to leave you a message to follow to a gift I hope you enjoy.

    Have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR in 2013. Hopefully, we will all find our dreams and wishes listened to and become a reality in the GOOD sense of the word. Love Peace Joy and Bliss I wish to you. jk the secret keeper Jennifer Kiley

    Oh! & also, I Nominate You for the “Shine On Award.” All You Have to Do is To Enjoy the Award and if you choose you can Post it on Your Own Blog.

    Come to my blog at “the secret keeper (dot) net” and go down the right column to under the Beautiful Panther’s Image and Save the Award to photos. And if you would like, read what I wrote on the post Shine On Award and anything else you would like to do. Just enjoy yourself. Peace, Jennifer 🙄


    1. Thank you! I will head over to your blog and check it out. I hope you have a great 2013 as well…with lots of happiness and love.
      My poems are getting more loving but it is weird because I write so well when I am unhappy. LOL. Now that I am happy, I have writers block. Go figure huh? 🙂


      1. the block will pass. write about love. most people love hearing about the depth and intensities of love. pain does inspire i must admit. it fires you up. it’s he wound crying out for relief. i love ur writing no matter what you write about. try some haiku or piku. i just wrote my first piku the other day. it’s a 7 – 1 -4 word lines. you need to have an image, action and come to a conclusion into a roundness. i know that’s a terrible explanation. let me write my piku out. it’s sort of funny weird.

        clown dressed as a peanut-shell
        elephant joke

        do you remember “the mary tyler moore show” and the episode on chuckles the clown? if not i’ll explain sometime. knowing that would make this funnier.

        be in love. the writing will be alright. i started up rewriting my screenplay. i fought getting back into that. plus i still need to structure my time to work on it more often.

        i hope you have a great year in 2013. i hope it’s good for everyone. peace, jk 🙂


    2. I hope you have a great New years too! I know the writing block will pass, it just upsets me that I can draw more inspiration from a “dark” place than from this happy place I am in… My man is certainly inspiration for me but it seems the more mentally healthy I get, the harder it is to write. I have never tried that poem style before, I will have to read into it and give it a try. I think I will take your advice and start throwing some Haikus into the mix. 🙂


      1. If I already responded it can’t hurt to write more. I do hope the Haiku is helping. I am presently working on a number of challenges that I am creating myself. I did day One tonight. Not totally original but the way I am doing them is my own. I am doing an assortment of Challenges all at once. Each has a particular night. Every wednesday I am doing a line from a fav song as title then I write something about the line/title. Tonight it was a poem and my new form of art that i call transgraphics and I pick a song and I also added unexpectedly a short remark about the poem. You will see when you get a chance to check out my site. Line is “there’s a fire starting in my heart.” I ask those who read the post to guess the song and the singer. I got it wrong and I chose the line. Oops! Well, I have 21 typed pages of challenges and notes and over another 25 smaller written pages of notes I need to transcribe. I am being the good bipolar by having all the symptoms of high energy, barely sleeping, mind on fire, down down down but at least I am trying to keep it together. If there is not snow I will probably see my therapist on Thursday. Haven’t seen her b/c of snow or illness on her part. And a friend’s sister died suddenly and unexpectedly. she was 6 mos older than me and leaves a 15 year old son who is now an orphan. Lots of things have been happening. well time to stop. Happy New Year. Haiku, also Piku—that is 7 – 1 – 4…needs image or action and to come to a roundness. Try googling. I wrote one so far. It is rather an interesting poetry to do. it’s almost 7am. i need to eat take some meds and drink some tea or soda and finish with my catching up. have a great day. jk 😉


  2. Hey. Long time no write??

    I’m so bad at keeping up. I’ve been watching you (stealthily!) for a while. Dealing with my own silliness and trying to keep afloat. It kept me from writing or blogging for a long while, but now that I’m back…

    …I get to catch up.

    So this poem is beautiful, in the same way that a memory of pain eased is always a welcome memory, so is a poem about that same ease. It manages to describe loss, hope and renewal all at once, and quite well. Considering some of your darker works, I am absolutely overjoyed that you’re rising.

    Oh, a note– reading some of the comments above:

    It’s harder to draw words from the happier sides of us. There are so many ways to describe pain and suffering, and writing about it frees us of it– but no one wants to be free of happiness, right? So instead the incentive to writing about happy things is to share it.

    If you’re used to writing for release, it can be a lot different to write about something for the sake of it. Scary, sometimes– while it’s scary also to write about sad things, at least there you can have near unanimous sympathy. With this it’s more like a total matter of perspective. Happiness is subjective, while sorrow tends to be more objective– we can all see when someone is sad, but we are all made happy by different things.

    …I do go on. The bottom line here is mostly just this-
    Don’t give up, Muse. Keep truckin’ on and moving up. And thank you as always for sharing. It’s simultaneously one of the best things we poets and artists can do– and the hardest of them. Your bravery is inspirational in all senses of the word.


    Also, happy new year. :3 I've got good feelings about this one.


      1. Better, on the whole. I suppose I should say that I feel more whole overall. As a person and a creature of the earth both; I’m feeling more solidly grounded and more… powerful, I suppose. Stronger than before. I feel like we’ve both taken paths that have led to us both healing in one way– or perhaps we’re still both healing. But more than anything else I feel good about the future for once- despite my sometimes feigned optimism I haven’t often felt good about MY future. And merely knowing that in the end it all turns out right is no true comfort to you when it feels terrible for the moment.

        Anyway. Ask a simple question, get a hundred complex answers, as they say. I’m really happy to see that you’re doing better than you were– the growth and healing both are impressive and heartening.



      2. I do feel much better than usual. I know that being in love has its healing properties in itself. It does make it more difficult to write because writing before was a purging of emotions… the bad ones… and now I feel much more content than I have in the past. I miss reflecting and writing from the dark place, but I don’t miss the darkness if that makes any sense. LOL
        Good to hear that you are optimistic overall. That is a huge step in a good direction. ♥


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