Love On Fire

I love you,

with a fucking passion that burns hotter

than any fire could ever blaze.

In intense waves of light bending heat, starting from my heart, soul, and mind…

radiating outwards to shower you.

So scorching

of the frenzied love you incite within me…

I fear I may spontaneously combust.

Yet I defiantly brave on…

not only play, but jump in the fire constantly…

no regard to my possible incineration

from this fusion reaction inside me,

which is you…my love incarnate.

This epoch of us…

my love, our love, heat…

radiance of perfect contentment and well being,

given into wild abandonment of my own emotional safety

for the undertaking of heaven…

which is US.


I love you…I always will.

© bipolarmuse 2012

**A piece of a love letter written to me by the man of my dreams.**

To Be Alive

Blurring every sense…

every aspect of who I use to be.

My right, my wrong…

an illusion… I am breaking free.

Each delicate kiss mends…

that which has been broken down

to meticulously rebuild…

build back up…up from the ground.

Every stroke of your hands…

 love evident from the gleam in your eyes.

Tenderly passionate….I await your command…

You have become my life.

Looking to you for guidance, for direction…

This is what it feels like to be alive.

© bipolarmuse 2012

Most Popular Posts

Even though I have been absent for some time, I do get on here to see if anything new is going on or if I have any comments that need to be addressed and while doing so, I check out my most popular posts.

Happily, these are among the top ones:

World Suicide Prevention

Hyper-Sexuality and Bipolar Disorder

Lets Talk Mood Swings- and a Quote

Borderline Personality Disorder Criteria and Me

Aside from these particular posts, various “quotes” by Rumi, Shakespeare, and Winston Churchill are always popular. And from time to time, some poems are looked at.

What I enjoy about the popularity of these posts is that first and foremost, this blog, though a poetry filled journey,  is a mental health blog… and these top posts prove just that. I am happy that the direction of this blog is not only informative but also inspirational in the quotes that I choose to use and share with everyone.

I couldn’t ask for me.

Thank you for continuing to read and keeping this blog going. ♥

The Missing Bipolarmuse

I know I have been very sporadic, if not downright slowed down, with my blog posts and reading the blogs that I follow. I have a very good explanation that I would love to share.

As you know, my move here was a huge change for me. I emphasized my desire to be single and to simply enjoy life. My goal was to continue being mentally healthy and growing on a personal level… to spend time with my children… and to live.

6 weeks ago I was blindsided by love.

Yes, Bipolarmuse is head over heels in love with an amazing man… a man who is showing me a new world. A world of love… mutual respect… boundaries… goals… and dreams coming true. Through him I am learning more about myself than I ever imagined possible…and I am learning that there is more to me than I knew existed. He is showing me what love truly looks like… how it is not one sided but a dual part that two people play together.

I cannot express how this man is changing my life, and the way that we compliment one another.

I have loved in my past but I never knew that I could love someone to this caliber… I never knew that love like this was possible for me. I always felt that “that ship had sailed” so to speak.

I am no longer cynical about love. Just when I wasn’t looking, the man of my dreams was placed directly in front of me. I am glad that I didn’t choose to walk around him… instead, I locked eyes and the conversation just flowed between us.

The rest is history.

World Suicide Prevention 2012

World Suicide Prevention day just passed and I feel like a bad Bipolarmuse for not addressing this topic and bringing it to light yesterday.

I have certainly endured my share of loved ones killing themselves, and as a survivor, it is one of the most traumatic experiences I have dealt with in my entire life. For those of you who have followed by blog… you know I have certainly been through a-lot. A-lot of ugly, sad, and horrific experiences, yet surviving a loved ones suicide is certainly at the top of the list for the most difficult circumstances to live through. The only thing more difficult was enduring the fact that my son was physically abused.

I have loved 3 people who have killed themselves.

*Kevin Ammons- My Uncle who took his own life… a drug addicted, depressed man, with horrible life experiences to add to his sorrows.

*Brandon S.- My ex who took his life nearly 3 months after he and I ended our two year relationship.

*Keith Leavitt- Another Uncle who took his life because of a broken heart.

All three were unique, yet all three suffered greatly and felt the need to end it… to escape their mental pain.

Suicide is preventable. Most people who commit suicide do not want to die but want to end their emotional suffering.

People are afraid of talking about the subject… afraid that mentioning it will somehow give others the “idea” if they had never previously considered it an option… they are afraid of the stigma associated with suicide… they are afraid. We cannot allow fear to control us and need to speak openly about suicide, prevention and education, and mental health… bring it to light instead of allowing it to fester in the dark. Education is golden… a step towards prevention.

Stop the stigma.

Start talking.

** If you are depressed and contemplating suicide, please reach out to someone. Even a  hotline if you need to be anonymous. Do everything within your power to fight for your life. You are worth the fight. **

Living Poetry ~ Blackout Poem

Living poetry..

A sapling of Love, lust, trust…

nurturing, passion…

Growing rampant.

Reaching up for the nourishment…

our want and need for one another…

Radiating out of us,

like a hundred stars.

Bursting forth to become…


Bountiful fruit of our

dreams and happiness.

A testament to our infused bond…

relentless is defense of anything

trying to separate that bond.

That tree is singular, not plural.

That tree is us.

Bipolar Quote ~ Kay Redfield Jamison ~

“Manic-depression distorts moods and thoughts, incites dreadful behaviors, destroys the basis of rational thought, and too often erodes the desire and will to live. It is an illness that is biological in its origins, yet one that feels psychological in the experience of it, an illness that is unique in conferring advantage and pleasure, yet one that brings in its wake almost unendurable suffering and, not infrequently, suicide.” ~ Kay Redfield Jamison

What I despise about Manic-depression (Bipolar disorder) is the way it distorts every part of who you are. I cannot count on my hands how many times people have told me “you seem so happy” when I have a raging storm inside my head. Gratefully that storm has passed but I do not underestimate the power it holds.

It holds me hostage without any way to pay a ransom. It invades my mind, my heart, and makes me lose all logic.

I know that those of you who live with a mood disorder… you know exactly what I mean.

Depression steals every good emotion and leaves you with the bad… and you get to the point where your mind attempts to destroy you and everything you have fought for… you believe you are invisable.

And then its best friend mania kicks in, and yes, it feels like a drug… feels amazing. The need for sleep vanishes, you become more daring, become a social butterfly… the world fits in the palm of my hand… it revolves around me.

Then it stumbles, it is faulty, and the downward slide into excruciating depression is in motion.

The vicious cycle… the one I have broken… it may rear its ugly head from time to time but it no longer controls me… I am not at its mercy.

Stupid Bipolar… you almost got me… now I am winning.