You can’t count me out.
I may be down, but until I reach a dirt nap
I am nowhere near out.
I refuse to lay the fuck down.
What is it you wanna say now?
I got my back turned
I refuse to even glance your way.
Nothing new, the shit you say.
This is my life and I will do it everyday,
the only way I’ll do it… my way.
No, I will not go away. I am here to stay.
I may not reach the point of normal
But try to explain normal to me.
Is it absence of this energy?
Am I suppose to change the real me?
No more sorrow, tears, angst, hate, anger,
melancholy flowing through me?
Who the fuck am I suppose to be? I’ve been living 21 years
pretending to be…
someone other than me.
Yes it changed, it did intensify.
Something in me changed, something broke.
It’s been over a couple years ago.
Explain to me how I was to know?
This is uncharted land…
I was dealt a completely different hand.
Need to put on my sea legs and learn
How to stand.
I should have put up my middle finger
to everyone telling me
I didn’t need to
take any medication, it’s a stinger.
My head isn’t a place you’d want to linger.
That’s what I get for listening
Instead of relying on my gut feeling…
It makes me sick that I had myself fooled.
Myself fully believing
that these pills could be a thing of the past…
threw them aside
And now my lifes on blast.
Made the biggest mistakes one could possible
grasp. And now I’m stuck.
cause one thing I have learned
You can never go back.
© bipolarmuse 2010